What on earth am I doing here?

That's what I think sometimes when I come to tae kwon do. I feel out of my element. This may not be a bad thing, given that my current element is a messy house, complete with sticky kitchen floor and random toys in the bathroom. But really, the gym? it has never been my friend. This goes back to junior high p.e., and my memories of maroon and gold polyester shorts and a loud, intense, strict teacher. I itch when I think about those shorts. Bleh.

The fact of the matter is that I have never in my life been athletic, in the sense that I have Pursued a Sport. I have exercised, yes, but biking away in front of the television while David Archuleta croons on American Idol is a very different thing from actually attempting to coordinate my body.

So, what makes tae kwon do different? Why am I overcoming years of anti-athlete conditioning to sweat and kick and yell?

I don't know, exactly. Part of it is that the women's class feels safe to me. People are nice. It's only women. No one so far has mentioned my girth. And part of it is the amazing instructors. I have been attempting to learn the doubles kick ("attempt" is the key word). And the other day I made a kind of breakthrough, and I finally got a feel for it. I rotated and kicked and it seemed to flow. Taralynn was exuberant on my behalf. She was thrilled for me, delighted that my body seemed to catch on to what she'd been telling me.

It felt good. Beats junior high P.E. any day. Plus the uniforms don't itch.

--Emily M.